The March Equinox has come and gone.  I have really been looking forward to the transition from Winter to Spring.  Transition...now there is a word that covers a lot of ground in these days that mark the end of a full year of dealing with the "C" word.  At this time last year we heard "two weeks to stop the spread." Two weeks turned into two months turned into a year.  Happily, we are beginning to see a transition out of the messy boundaries and extreme polarity that seemed to define(ironically) 2020.  But even as we move forward, I sense a watery quality to my perspective, and that is what I want to address this week.
According to the yogic science of Ayurveda Spring is linked to the kapha dosha.  Kapha Is a Sanskrit word which translates to "that which flourishes In water" and dosha Is a way of saying "constitution." The qualities associated with this  dosha are damp, sluggish, and cold.  Sound familiar?  I know that I have felt unclear, weighed down, and filled with the urge to clean house, declutter, lighten the load!!!  Maybe you have too.  So if you are ready to gain energy, dry out the dampness, and move into the season of renewal, make a fresh start, and venture safely back out into community, I hope you will join me for asana practice this week.  See you on your mat!!
​xo Nicole

As we enter this third week in February with rain rain rain here in Wilmington, NC, my mind is  on  President's Day holiday on Monday, also the celebration of George Washington's birthday.  I remember what I learned about ole George in elementary school; something about chopping down a cherry tree, and that he had dentures made of wood.  And these days he is a figurehead of "the Patriarchy," which is considered the root of the evils of this world by some. But as I continue to ruminate, up comes curiosity about the naissance of this nation, and the issues that drove a British colony toward independent self-rule(I am a Leo, and a 1 in numerology, if you are into that stuff, so...yeah).  If you are ready to stop reading and scroll right past, I get it....enough with politics already. And really, a query such as this could go into so many sidebars, like the ethics of colonization, and whose land is the USA really built on, or is the Declaration of Independence even valid, as it deliberately excluded certain people from its benefit. But I will stick with a particular stream of thought, and I will keep it short.  I promise.
Upon doing some light research into the gist of the Declaration of Independence, I came across this paragraph on the Sparks Notes website:
It took 14 months, military mobilization, persuasive pamphleteering, and the further abuse of colonial rights before all 13 colonies agreed to pursue independence. At issue were political as well as practical concerns. Upper class colonists tended to fear the lower class gaining too much power through revolution. Middle class colonists could not afford to see their businesses continue to decline due to trade restrictions. All colonists resented that the King and Parliament denied them representative government and their civil rights. However, they also doubted whether they would be strong enough to resist the British military.
I am struck by how some these statements seem to describe current day issues; the consolidation of wealth by large corporations and the world's wealthiest people, the merchant class experiencing challenges wrought by mandates created to manage the Covid-19 pandemic,  average citizens feeling that their views and issues are not being represented in the governmental decision making process, and finally, civil and human rights abuses of certain groups of people.  How can it be that almost 250 years later we as a country and a society continue to struggle with the same issues?!   
While I haven't landed on a short answer, (and I did promise to keep it short!)I do glean that perhaps these are the challenges of living as a human on this earth in modern times.   There appears to be no immediate solution or quick fix, and even long range plans, the fighting of wars, and the forming of new systems of government, have not ultimately solved the stated challenges. What can I as one person do? A big question, but  the answer that arises is the same one that has come in response to other Big Questions that have come before. I can continue to challenge myself to be the change I want to see in the world.  To work toward accurate self-appraisal, and to cultivate  a willingness to acknowledge when and how I am falling short of a high standard of ethics and behavior needed to accomplish that change. I can determine to move in the direction of being and doing better.  And instead of feeling cynical about Presidents Day, which can seem to highlight systemic hypocrisy and shortfall,  I can use it as a reminder of the inalienable rights spelled out by the Declaration of Independence, of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for myself and ALL beings. 
xoxo Nicole

Are you a quitter? I've quit many things in my life at different times;  alcohol, sugar, eating animals, watching TV, unhealthy relationships...   I have grown to believe that when I want or need to do a thing, whether for work, or money, or health, I am disciplined, I will be able to just do it.  Ive got the evidence.  Right?
Not always. In fact, not so much RIGHT NOW. So, I feel inclined to contemplate exactly what happened to me that shifted the locus of power from "out there" to "in here', how I accessed the belief and experience that I am indeed able to create the results I desire, to shape the landscape of my life into what I want it to be.  
There were years of my life when the state of my mind, my inner thoughts, were dark and bleak. I did not like, much less love, myself.  And I felt powerless to make changes.  I was identified with myself as a creature that was not lucky, or happy, or lovable, and I did not know that I had the ability within to change any of it, to choose to be different.  I felt like I just was the way I was,  I was born that way, and that was the way things were meant to be for me. I lived in that state for many years, and overall my life and the will to continue on seemed to spiral downward.  Truth be told, I barely made it out alive.  
Looking back I see that I had to come to the end of that version of myself,  small and finite. When I did, I did not just disappear...a new experience of mySelf was born.  Slowly, over the course of time, everything has changed. Bit by bit, choice by choice, a new life, a new landscape, defined by different qualities;   peace, purpose, happiness, joy, (yes they are different!)faith, humility. These days , when I want to create change, it seems like the power to do so just is.
Here in the third week of January 2021, I am NOT exactly where I want to be, in some ways.  I am taking some time to reflect more deeply on what I want, and why, who in the world I think I am. I am looking at what is needed in the world and how I can make moves to be part of a hopeful future. While I feel challenged to keep daily disciplines, I realize it is because I have outgrown a particular version of myself.  Where I am going, this old me does not belong.  Time for new thoughts, new behaviors, new inner conversations.  I realize I am excited to meet the new me.

I got an interesting text today.  My landlord at my office sent me a message telling me it was time to renew my lease(has it really been a YEAR?) and asking was I going to renew.  Well, there had been some chatter around my office about raised rent, so I was not to be fooled into simply answering yes or no to such a seemingly innocuous inquiry!  I confidently shot back a text asking what the new terms were.  I had a really good rate for the first year at my gorgeous office space, so I was definitely expecting a rise...but imagine my surprise when the figure she sent was a 41% increase!  Wow.   

I have developed a bit of a reputation.  Now I know what you are thinking...NOT GOOD.  Right?!  Back in high school "a rep" meant that a girl was known around town as...well, you get the picture.  But in this case it IS a good thing.  Very good.

Some time back I started seeing hearts .  Heart-shaped  clouds, queso drips, radishes, leaves, splashes of coffee on the condiment bar at the coffee shop.  Thanks to fancy technology, I have been able to capture these hearts and share them with the whole world! Or at least the part of the world contained in my social networking site.  Over time other people began posting pictures of hearts they saw in real life.  They began tagging me, and eventually just posting the pix on my page.  A regular love fest.

It occurs to me that that's how Love works.  Love, as Mercy, flows most powerfully toward those in deepest need.  Once it is received,  perceived as Grace, (something we did nothing to deserve, a free gift with purchase, a get out of jail free card) it builds within us, transforms us from the inside out.   In time we are so be-loved, we overflow.   Love moves our world, shapes and molds our environment to draw others to us, and finally pours into their lives  through us.  An unending chain of love.

What we see around us is a reflection of who we are.  With this in mind, start looking.  If you find you don't like what you see, never fear.  Remember...Love flows most powerfully toward those in deepest need.