IT ME!!! When I wrote my last blog post, I had no intention of ghosting for a year. The best laid plans and all that. But (anything followed by but is BS, as my first 12 step sponsor used to say)....'22 had other things in store for me. I have been grind-ING. 6 days a week, for most of the year, with very few days off, or trips, or ANYTHING. And I loved it.
I am the second daughter of a king of the bootstrap generation. His queen, aka my mahm, is a southern jew, the middle daughter of first generation Polish, Lithuanian, and Russian immigrants, a poster child for religious tolerance, and in the dictionary, next to the word volunteer, you will find her pic. My parents always worked together to be prime examples to my sister and me of how to achieve their ultimate goal in life, FINANCIAL SECURITY in perpetuity. Their ideal was forged in necessity; they came out of America's lean years that became fat years, followed by even leaner years. Together they worked their way into the yuppie middle class, and like many a baby boomer, became what they worked for and exemplified....financially secure in retirement, and able to continue to provide for themselves and their progeny.
So what I mean to say, is that it follows that I am naturally disposed to love to work, because that is what my people do. I worked in my very young years for an allowance, then as a babysitter for neighbors (when I was really still in need of a babysitter myself, all my latchkey kids say yeeeeeaaaaaah), for my grandparents in their general store at 13, and I finally entered the real work force at 14, with a worker's permit from the state of Maryland. I have rarely (if ever????) been without employment since, and have been SELF-employed since 1998, save an odd job, just for fun, here and there. The habit of working has served me through every season of my life, and every state of mind. Depressed? Feeling like I don't matter? Look around, Nicole, something needs doing. I have been carried through some dark times in my life because somebody was expecting me to show up somewhere to do some job .Enthusiastic? Wanting to explore the world or try a new thing? Get that bag, honey, make that money. While I have been fortunate to mostly do work that resonates and feeds my soul, I have also been gifted with the discipline to show up, even when I haven't 100% loved the work, or felt like being there.
Now there is a word for you...discipline. Some people really dislike the word. It conjures the sense of being punished or forced into some behavior or task against their will. But not this gal. For me, it is power, a force that arises from within to guide me toward goals that I have set with clarity. It is the outgassing of the lizard brain's programmed habituation, alchemically transformed by Grace to align me with my hearts desire. The cost of accessing discipline is the surrender of my will to that higher purpose, the broader vision, the Eye that sees beyond my present circumstance to the light at the end of the tunnel. And ultimately discipline is a gift in my life that I can share with the world.
Last month, a dear friend of mine confessed that, while she had, at one time, experienced the fruit of daily meditation, she was not currently committed to the discipline. I was flabbergasted. WHY NOT???? Too busy. Doing good things, but too busy. Ya'll know what I'ma say...If you are too busy for meditation, you are TOO BUSY. So I offered to help her be accountable by meeting her over the inter webs every morning for 20 minutes of silent sitting. We are doing the dang thang.
So, if you are a meditator, or are meditation curious, come on. We over here at 5:55 a.m., silent and non-violent, ready for you to click the link and join.