Alone But Not Lonely

Would we call it ironic that on the heels of Mother's Day, I find myself home alone, my youngest daughter having moved to her first apartment this weekend? Whatever we call it, it is hitting hard.  No matter how many carbs I have noshed, no matter that I spent a lovely weekend on the water dog-sitting for a friend, nor the 90 minute drive to a nearby town to visit at a barbecue joint with a west coast bestie I haven't seen in years, now that I am here and just feeling into the relative silence at my house, I really feel ALONE.
Now ALONE and lonely are not the same, I have oft been careful to point out.  As a single woman over 50, I am VERY happy, and spend a lot of time by myself.  But until now, there has been a constant sense of myself as a mother, with duties only as far away as the sound of the garage door opening and footsteps clomping up the stairs.  But now I am left with just myself and a couple of cats.  Even though the feline needs are frfr(that's for real for real for those who are NOT parent to a gen Z or millennial) I feel heart-sore at the absence of those babies, turned toddlers, turned tweens, turned teens, turned young women ready to fledge. And I don't know if I am ready to like it yet.   So I will sit and I will feel.  I will not push away  what I am beginning to recognize as grief mixed with love and pride.  And I will practice the yoga of letting go.  
Join me for asana this week by clicking the link below.
​xo Nicole ​